Carpe Noctem
From Duke Wiki
 Cover from the Fall 2003 Issue | |
| Founded | Fall, 2002? |
|---|---|
| Type | Humour |
| Publication Cycle | Twice a year; Fall & Spring |
| Circulation | unknown? |
| mqz@duke.edu (Mimi Zhang) | |
| Nickname | Carpe |
| Website | http://www.duke.edu/web/carpe/ |
Carpe Noctem is Duke's official humor and satire publication and a franchised memober of the Undergraduate Publications Board. The history of Carpe Noctem is generally considered a mystery, primarily because anyone who had actually read of the history of Carpe Noctem died of spontaneous combustion. As a precautionary measure, in 1955, the Scripture of Carpe Noctem was rewritten in a language that is only known by 12 prepubescent girls, all named Veronica, who were trapped in a stasis field and flung out into space by a very large slingshot.
Then, the tome was buried in concrete and kryptonite (in case you were trying to get Superman to help you...you scheming fool) 30 feet below the Duke tunnels in a hyperbolic time chamber. This chamber is guarded by a socially maladjusted imp who has a love for human flesh and rhyming couplets. You will most certainly be soothed by his delectable sonnets while he is gnawing on your even more delectable abdomen, for this imp wishes to give you a satisfactory first impression. But these good manners still will not prevent him from inhaling your soul like it was an afterdinner mint.
In conclusion, it is best that we don't mention anything except perhaps that, if you are still interested in reading or working on this publication, you can go to the website for downloadable back issues and contact information.
